Let's Talk Body Confidence
When God gave my mother three daughters, He decided they'd all be completely different-different personalities, hair textures and body shapes. And that's what I love most about my sisters. Everyday is a learning experience, in that we are constantly giving each other what the other lacks. Plus, we do not hold back when it comes to putting each other in check. Even when it comes to how we see ourselves. According to Glamour.com, on average, women have 13 negative body thoughts daily—nearly one for every waking hour. And a disturbing number of women confess to having 35, 50 or even 100 hateful thoughts about their own shapes each day. My sisters and I are not an exception. We sometimes have these thoughts too. Read below to find out how we feel about about our bodies and how we stay positive.
How would you describe you're body type?
Doyin: I would describe my body as full figure. In other terms, "plus size" as modern society would define it
Dayo: According to magazines I’m pear shaped- small upper half and curvy at the bottom.
Dotun: I would describe my body as slim and tall.
Body Confidence is...
Embracing the body you got. Flaws and all.
- Dayo
How would you define body confidence?
Doyin: Self love and pride.
Dayo: Embracing the body you got. Flaws and all.
Dotun: Love your body regardless of the flaws society claims you have.
How do you find that within yourself?
Doyin: I take pride in who I am on the inside and out. As long as I love myself no one else opinions matter. Self-love is the best love!
Dayo: To be honest, it’s hard. To look in the mirror everyday and be completely satisfied is hard. There are days when I’m super confident with my body and then there are days when I’m being catcalled and wished I had less of a shape. Everyday I’m learning to love my body. It takes time.
Dotun: I think I accept my shape for what it is. For me, I think it's easier to accept it because I have a slim figure. I've always been comfortable in my skin/body because it's a shape you typically would see in media.
Self-love is the best love!
I take pride in who I am on the inside and out. As long as I love myself no one else opinions matter. Self-love is the best love!
- Doyin
What do you love about your body?
Doyin: I love everything most especially my long legs! My assets make me feel good in anything I wear. I stride down the streets knowing that I am beautifully and wonderfully made.
Dayo: I love my height. I really love being “short.” I do like my butt. Lol. I just hate that men think it’s an invitation to harass me. So I usually cover it up with loose pants and shift dresses. It’s a shame that I can’t embrace one od my favorite body parts because I’m afraid of being followed or harassed.
Dotun: I love my height. I'm 5’9, which is tall for the average women. I love my chest because I think they fit clothes perfectly lol. My friends laugh at me because I talk about them all the time.
Do what makes YOU happy.
Just make sure you are not changing your body because of what the media says or what others say but because you want to. Do what makes YOU happy.
- Dotun
What do you think your flaws are? Why? Does the media effect the way you see your body?
Doyin: As a African woman, I would say not having a big booty is my flaw. Our culture portrays big booty as sexy, as if it symbolizes beauty. Growing up, I've always wanted to be bootylicous to feel beautiful and look like a model. The media plays a huge role in this ideology in that most of the women in black Hollywood are shape with hourglass figure and booty beyond voluptuous. However, I've come to learn that this does not define me.
Dayo: I guess my stretch marks are considered flaws. I don’t see them that way. I call them tiger stripes; they’re cool with me. When you see celebrities, days after giving birth, you do wonder how the hell they don’t have stretchmark’s. I go up one or two pant sizes and my thighs are covered in stripes. I have tried a few remedies to reduce the stretch marks and nothing worked. I was wasting my money since they’ll show up again once I have kids.
Dotun: I would say not having a big butt and wider hips. The media definitely has emphasized that those features are most favorable among women of color. I never cared about that until I started noticing that in music videos and TV shows. It also is obvious that those qualities capture the attention of African American / African men which is the type of men I typically date.
What advice do you give yourself when you lose confidence?
Dayo: I try to compliment myself. Instead of pointing out the things i hate, I try to find one or thing I love. The next day, I find something else to love. Every day I add on a new thing to love about myself.
Doyin: God made me in His image and likeness! And He never makes any mistakes. Understanding this makes me feel comfortable in my skin!
Dotun: God made you this way. Just make sure you are not changing your body because of what the media says or what others say but because you want to. Do what makes YOU happy.
